What could make your family experience more fulfilling?  My own family was lively.  I am the eldest of 6 [...]]]>

Can you smell the turkey baking?  Or are you driving to friends and relatives for your feast?  Perhaps you are escaping to a movie?  This is the time that you come together with the special people in your life.  Spending time with friends and family is an opportunity to appreciate your roots and to expand the possibilities.

What could make your family experience more fulfilling?  My own family was lively.  I am the eldest of 6 children.  And we have always cared about each other, but we didn’t always express it in words.  I never remember hearing the words “I love you” when I was growing up.

My youngest sister changed all of that about 14 years ago.  She began to end her phone calls to our parents and siblings with the words, “I love you”.  The first time she said this, I was speechless.  I put down the phone and tears came to my eyes.  I realized how much I had longed to hear those words from my family.   The next time we spoke, I ended the call with “I love you.”

Soon it was a family practice.  I am grateful to Cynthia for opening our hearts.  My father passed in 2001 and my mother this year.  We all told our parents that we loved them on a regular basis.  And in the midst of dealing with the family trust, my siblings and I often say “I love you.”  We don’t always agree on how to do everything.  Yet we know that we have each other’s backs.  We are family.

What can you do to impact your family?  What traditions and habits support good relationships?  Are there ways in which you are stuck in old patterns which feel uncomfortable?  Each family is different, so you are the best judge of what will make a positive shift.

Choose one action that can bring more love to your family.  You might give hugs instead of handshakes.  Or special compliments which acknowledge each person.  You might listen more carefully.  You might bring a song or music.  Or simply say “I love you”, especially if you aren’t in the habit.

Making changes, even for the better, isn’t always easy.  Did you have the courage to take action?  Did you prepare the way for action in the future?  Or was it too daunting to risk disapproval?  Can you approve of yourself regardless of the outcome?

Imagine festive gatherings with your family and friends that fill you with inspiration and a feeling of deep connection.  Take that vision and ask your higher self for one simple thing that you can do to bring it to fruition.  Then DO IT.  Just one simple thing.  Isn’t that easy?

Succumbing to victim mode robs you of personal value in two ways:

You try to set priorities, but they never seem to stick. Your to-do list grows by the day, but so few things ever get crossed off. Books go [...]]]>

Do you feel guilty as you drown in the daily details? Too much to do. Too many people wanting your time and energy. Being pulled in multiple directions. And wondering if there will ever be time to do what you want. Time management? It seems an impossible goal.

You try to set priorities, but they never seem to stick. Your to-do list grows by the day, but so few things ever get crossed off. Books go unread. Movies remain unwatched. Your computer’s in box overflows with unread email. And those friends you keep wanting to reconnect with? Forget about it.

You feel overwhelmed. You want to change. But where do you start?

I have news for you. No matter what you do, you will always have more choices about where to put your time and focus than you have time available. You will NEVER complete your to-do list.

Think about that. You will never be DONE! Now ask yourself one simple question – and realize that the answer to this question will make all the difference in your life.

How does it make you feel to know you will never finish all the things on your list?

You could feel a variety of ways: Confused, depressed, and hopeless… or free, elated and renewed. If you don’t like how you feel, are you willing to explore further?

When I realized that I would NEVER complete my to-do list, I felt confused. I have been on this earth for quite a few years. I have definitely been here long enough to work out the issue of TIME – how to manage it, prioritize it, make it work for me. How is it possible that I can’t manage to complete my tasks and make my life simple?

Then I had a blinding flash of the obvious. Who put the items on the list? I did. Who made them important? I did. Are there other things NOT on my list? Of course. So why do I put more things on the list than I can do?

As I sat with that question, an image came to my mind: a beautiful “All You Can Eat” banquet filled with sumptuous treats. Crisp and creative salads, roast beef, salmon, sushi, lamb kabobs, asparagus, French green beans, sweet potatoes, chocolate mousse, berry tarts, lemon meringue pie, butterscotch pudding. And of course, champagne and fine wines. Most anything I can think of is on the buffet, just waiting for me to choose.

Clearly, I cannot eat it all. Even an attempt to taste everything would leave me feeling bloated and not enjoying the experience. Just finding a place to start would overwhelm me. I have a choice. Do I walk outside and look for a hot dog stand instead? Do I insist that someone remove all but a few choices in the banquet?

My deepest desire is to taste and enjoy it all, yet I will be miserable if I try this route. Then the answer became clear. I could feel it in my very soul and celebrate.

Your life is about enjoying the banquet. The abundance of spirit brings you more variety than you can ever taste so you can experience free will. Even bitter choices bring you new experiences. And you may then long for the one thing not on the table: simplicity.

It’s all up to you, babe! You get to find the simplicity within yourself. The world is abundant and full of choice. Will you stop for one moment to enjoy the vast abundance that creates your busy-ness? If you can stop now, you may find yourself smiling and giggling as I did. You are getting it! Be grateful. Simplicity isn’t out there, isn’t it?

If you are a creative entrepreneur, you probably uncover new ideas on a regular basis.  i keep a notebook of good ideas which pop into my head.  My challenge is to sort the inspiration from the clutter.  My greatest marketing and product ideas often come in a flash.  My ezine is receiving raves and is becoming a book.  On the other hand, some pesky thoughts launch me into a mindless web-surfing episode.   Can you relate?  [...]]]>

If you are a creative entrepreneur, you probably uncover new ideas on a regular basis.  i keep a notebook of good ideas which pop into my head.  My challenge is to sort the inspiration from the clutter.  My greatest marketing and product ideas often come in a flash.  My ezine is receiving raves and is becoming a book.  On the other hand, some pesky thoughts launch me into a mindless web-surfing episode.   Can you relate?  (I hope I’m not the only one bothered by distraction!)

So how do you decide what is valuable?  Ask yourself a few simple questions.

Does this idea move my business forward now? Does your newest brainstorm simplify what you are already doing?  Does it fit into the current model?  Will it leverage your current efforts?  Or will it slow you down?  Sometimes you have a great idea but it is not the right time for it.  I recommend getting an “Idea Book”  and jotting down every brainstorm.  Once you write it down, you know that it will be available for you later, so you can easily return to what is important now.   The side benefit is that you have a list of great ideas to tap on those days when you are feeling dull an uncreative.

What bucket does this fall in? I ask myself this question often.  A bucket is a category.  I have a leads bucket, a niche bucket, an online marketing bucket and a product bucket.  I also have a bucket for productivity ideas, although my productivity ideas are usually the first to be put into action.   By grouping ideas, it is easier to sort them by relevance.

What does my team think? Once I categorize my ideas, I take time to review them with my team. Every business needs a team.  If you are a solo-preneur then find a coach or mastermind to keep you from drowning yourself in your own creativity or failing to see the forest for the trees.  It is a good practice to gather ideas, group them, allow them to age and review them with others.

Want to be consistently brilliant?  Here is the simple formula.

1. Brand your company and products! Branding is a process of creating clarity for your business.  It sends a clear message about your value. You exist to serve.  When you provide more service that falls within your core brand, you make it easy for people to accept.
2. Know your target market and USP.
3. Plan your work and work your plan.
4. Delegate everything except your special brilliance.

Finally, enjoy life and keep it simple!

1. Listen to other people. The most successful people let others talk more than they do.

- Use questions to expand the conversation beyond small talk.

- Ask probing questions to elicit a person’s dreams and passions.

- Uncover ways that you can contribute to others [...]]]>

People do business with people they like.  Yet business is more than a popularity contest.  It is an opportunity to create human connection that generates creativity and growth.  Here are some simple basics!

1. Listen to other people. The most successful people let others talk more than they do.

- Use questions to expand the conversation beyond small talk.

- Ask probing questions to elicit a person’s dreams and passions.

- Uncover ways that you can contribute to others and take action immediately.

2. Compliment others often. Everyone likes to know they’re doing a good job. Be sure to be specific when offering words of encouragement.

- People like to be acknowledged in different ways. Pay attention to each person’s personality style and preferences

o Fast-paced and directed individuals like to be complimented for “taking control” and “achieving results”

o Chatty and personable people enjoy compliments about the “fun and enthusiasm” which they contribute.

o Individuals who look for group consensus and include everyone like to be told that they “create stability” and “help keep everyone on track”

o People that often check details and rules will beam when you tell them that they “maintain high quality standards” and that you appreciate their “attention to detail”.

3. Make a personal connection. Try to stray from using e-mail as a primary form of communication. It will give you a chance to stretch your legs and make a personal impact.

- Your talents, enthusiasm and passion are best communicated in person. Words are only 7% of communication. Communicate facts on paper and in email. To influence and persuade others, meet them in person.

- Personal connections provide feedback for your own growth. Notice when others take your leadership and when they resist. Observe your comfort level.

- Ask others for direct feedback when appropriate so that you can improve your communication!

Communication is more art than skill. To be great at it you have to pay attention and practice. The good news is that every conversation is a source of feedback. We are all human. Forgiving mistakes and showing gratitude and appreciation flow smoothly.

Although it’s been years since I sailed, it’s something you don’t forget.  Each sailing trip is unique.  One time I floated along, almost dozing, as the boat lapped through the water.  Another trip, I negotiated 20 foot waves for hours to keep the boat upright.  Even when you check [...]]]>

Last Sunday I stood on a bluff in Santa Monica overlooking the ocean.  A dozen sailboats spread across the horizon, enjoying a beautiful Southern California day.

Although it’s been years since I sailed, it’s something you don’t forget.  Each sailing trip is unique.  One time I floated along, almost dozing, as the boat lapped through the water.  Another trip, I negotiated 20 foot waves for hours to keep the boat upright.  Even when you check the weather in advance there are no guarantees for smooth sailing.

Life is like that too.  Unpredictable.   Buffeted by the changing winds of circumstance, we are all captains of our own ship.  I offer a few things I have learned from sailing as ways to cross your own outrageous sea.

You set the course, no matter which way the wind blows.  Sailing is an art – feeling the pulse of the wind, setting the sails to capture the gusts and move the boat forward.  It is your determination and direction that takes you forward.  The very force of the wind against you drives you to your goal.  Navigating  your business plan may be no less challenging.  Successful people feel the pull of their heart and the whispers of intuition.

You set your own course.

It’s rare that you move in a straight line.  Be willing to change course frequently.  Life is just like that – port and then starboard, and back again.   Keep a taut sail, but be willing to change direction.  Be aware of the horizon and your goals at all times.  Otherwise the changing winds and tides can confuse you.

Expect change and adjust.

Be careful of the lull.  As you tack from one side to another there is a momentary place where the sails flap, noisy and seemingly out of control.  It can be a frightening moment of indecision and doubt.  In that moment you decide the next turn.  It may be the moment you decide whether to leave a marriage, or start a new business, or move to a new community. There is no right answer.

The only danger is stopping in the middle.  You must move forward and fill your sails.  The lull of self-doubt is natural.  Welcome it as a sign that you are changing.  Welcome it as the progress that it truly demonstrates.  And move on. 

Self-doubt happens when you are changing, keep moving.

If you persist you’ll get there.  The timing isn’t up to you.  Winds and waves have their own rhythm.  You can steer and set the sails.  Then be patient and enjoy the ride.   Keep your eye on the compass and move toward your goal. 

You will reach your goals, at exactly the right time for you.

When the wind is pushing you forward, enjoy.  Then, to sail beyond your wildest imagination – make the extra effort to put up your spinnaker.

When you have been grinding hard to move upwind, it is natural to take it easy and relax when the wind is behind you.  It takes a little extra effort to pull out the spinnaker.  Yet it you have ever seen a boat being pulled along by the half balloon at its bow, you can understand the sheer exuberance of a winner.  Take the extra step.

Celebrate at the top of your game, rejoice and dance through the waves, spinnaker flying.

Step back from the daily grind and feel the wind in your face.  Look up and keep your goals in sight.  You are the captain of your ship.  Glad to come aboard and share the journey!

The truth is that YOU can follow the lead of others and create a very successful business.  It is also true that YOU are the biggest obstacle to your business success.  How is that possible?

If you want to cease being a roadblock and begin being a [...]]]>

Is business success a learnable skill?  Do you know how to grow you small business into a more profitable larger business?  How do you know?  Have you done it before?

The truth is that YOU can follow the lead of others and create a very successful business.  It is also true that YOU are the biggest obstacle to your business success.  How is that possible?

If you want to cease being a roadblock and begin being a bridge on the road to success, you need to be open to possibilities that you have not considered before.  Even if you have read success stories, created your plans and built a business, you will never grow beyond the limits of your own expectations.  Whatever you currently believe defines our limits.

I have several mentors who declare that the most dangerous words in the English language are, “I know that!” The reason these words are so dangerous is simple. Success principles are not new. Success follows repeatable patterns, and you can learn from others. This means that those who act upon proven principles can also be successful.

However, there are many more people who HEARD the principles or READ the principles and yet they are not successful. Why? Success requires action and correction. Hearing or reading principles is not the same as LIVING them. Successful people do what it takes, accept the resulting feedback, correct their course and act again.

You do not KNOW a success principle unless are living it daily. If you do not have the business success you want, then it is obvious that you do not KNOW the principles you need.

The good news is that with an open mind and heart, and a willing mentor, you CAN LEARN to do what it takes to achieve your personal goals.  Start by eliminating the words, “I know that!” from your vocabulary.  My friend, Alex Mandossian says it best, “It’s what you learn AFTER you know it all that counts most!”

You have a list of things to do. On this list are important tasks that move your business forward. There may be some things that bring you greater health or develop important relationships. You put this list of priorities in [...]]]>

Where did we learn that there was reward in waiting? Was it standing in line in school years ago? Or do we learn sitting in traffic jams that we should slow down? Is this scenario familiar?

You have a list of things to do. On this list are important tasks that move your business forward. There may be some things that bring you greater health or develop important relationships. You put this list of priorities in front of you so that you won’t forget them. Yet day after day, items on the list remain undone.

At the same time, you’ve knocked off work early to watch a game. And you’ve spent time surfing the internet. You had an extra cup of coffee and caught up with friends on the phone. You might even have taken a nap. So what is up?

Procrastination means “to delay something that you ought to do, usually because you don’t want to do it.” The sad thing about procrastinating is that you probably still want the reward from your action. You want the contract, or the opportunity. What you want to avoid is some sort of discomfort.

So how do you get beyond this limitation? You need to decide what is most important to you.  If something isn’t important, then take it off your list, because it doesn’t belong there.  Then create a support system to take action. Your support system can be self-motivation, accountability to someone else, or even delegation. (Did you ever think that perhaps someone else can do the thing that you have been procrastinating?)

If you are procrastinating, you are limiting your success and taking a stand for mediocrity. There is help through professional hypnotherapy and coaching. The key is to decide that you will take action and hire an accountability partner who will not listen to your excuses.   If you want to take a simple step right now, go visit my affiliate partner, Downloads for Change.

Get the program“Simply Done”which can get you living more fully NOW!

While blaming takes away your power, justifying your position blinds you to possibilities. Your desire to be “right” in your choice eliminates other alternatives and wastes your time.

When I was learning to dance, my teacher would [...]]]>

How are things going for you? Do you want to get more of what you are already experiencing? Or do you want to improve? The definition of insanity is to keep doing the same thing and expecting a different result.

While blaming takes away your power, justifying your position blinds you to possibilities. Your desire to be “right” in your choice eliminates other alternatives and wastes your time.

When I was learning to dance, my teacher would go through the room during our exercises to give corrections. We were asked to shift our weight, align our feet or straighten out knees. One day after I had gotten a correction, the teacher stopped and looked at me. He asked, “Do you realize that you always have an excuse?”

I had just finished saying that my shoes were too tight and my leg sore. I was doing my best. My complaints were true for me. Then I learned a lesson I never forgot. Berle Davis, my mentor and teacher, looked me in the eye and said, “The audience doesn’t care. They will never ask you. All that matters is that you make the correction. You don’t need to say anything.”

That day changed my life. I quit justifying my actions. I take feedback and put it into action, and advise my clients to do the same. Feedback comes in all forms. It may be criticism or praise from clients. It may be the numbers in your checking account. It may be an audience who is either enthralled or yawning.

You will succeed in business much faster and easier if you stop justifying your actions. Simply accept feedback and make changes right away. Apologize when it is necessary and resolve to improve your personal best.

Finding someone or something to blame gets you off the hook when things don’t turn out your way. Finding blame is common and seems to be a natural human tendency.

Although I come from a large family of six children, I was on only child until 5. When I was four years old, I [...]]]>

Last year we blamed the economy. What will we blame in 2010? Have you ever considered how blame could be impacting your success?

Finding someone or something to blame gets you off the hook when things don’t turn out your way. Finding blame is common and seems to be a natural human tendency.

Although I come from a large family of six children, I was on only child until 5. When I was four years old, I created an imaginary playmate named Dee Dee. If I spilled my juice or colored outside the lines, I always blamed Dee Dee. Later, I could blame my siblings for distracting me.

As I matured, I took more responsibility for the small things but still had plenty of blame to spread around. I blamed my upbringing, my lack of experience, my teachers, and my busy schedule. Can you relate? What I didn’t realize was that I was missing the point.

Blame has the effect of making you a victim. By blaming others or my past, I was claiming that things would never get better. Since it is impossible to change your past, the blame game takes away a better future. Blame robs you of your personal power. When you blame a force outside of yourself, you are declaring, “I have no control over that! Things just happen to me!”  Victims have no choices. By blaming you make your success in life or business a matter of destiny rather than decision.

Blaming yourself is no better because it weighs you down with guilt and repentance. The result is that you are always atoning for your past mistakes. This can harm your spirit even more than blaming others.

There is another choice. You are the center of all your experiences. The moment you drop all blame and take RESPONSIBILITY for everything in your life is the moment that your life begins to shift. Instead of keeping the focus off you by blaming and looking for external reasons, look for internal responses.

Ask yourself a series of questions. How could I get a better outcome? What could I do differently? Is there something I don’t know which could help? Do I need to set better boundaries? Could I listen to my inner wisdom and make better choices? What is important now? Am I focusing on my highest values?  How could asking insightful questions impact your business success?

Are you willing to create your life, as it is, in every moment? The events and choices in your life are there to provide you with opportunities to grow and prosper. Every moment is an opportunity to choose again.

Eliminating blame is the path to leadership and personal power. The boss who lays blame creates fear. A leader corrects mistakes, leads by example, and develops confidence in the people around him or her. The boss can make work drudgery while a leader makes work interesting.