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The Online Self Improvement and Self Help Encyclopedia


 

September 2010
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How to Help a Friend Heal

When it comes to healing, science and spiritual belief agree.  What you believe and how you view your place in this world impact your health in both positive and negative ways.   You have a big role in healing yourself and in supporting your friends or family with serious illness.  Here are some ideas to shift you out of ”victim mode” so you can participate fully in the healing process.

Succumbing to victim mode robs you of personal value in two ways:

  1. You may not recognize the underlying lesson, or you may overlook the possibility that this event serves a greater purpose in your life.
  2. You give up your immense personal power to heal yourself. You rely upon pills, surgeries and the opinions of doctors.

A MORE POWERFUL WAY TO RESPOND is to connect with your inner healing power. This power comes from the personal belief that you are healing even now. Rather than being a victim of circumstance, you accept the role of co-creator. You recognize that your beliefs, feelings and responses have a profound impact upon your health.

Every healing is individual, but there are common elements:

  • The patient has a profound belief that they are already healed. This goes beyond words. It is a feeling, visualization, full body awareness that everything is already perfect.
  • Gratitude is central to their thoughts. Simple appreciation for beauty, people, nature and all of life expands their thoughts far beyond themselves.
  • They experience connection to a higher power that works within them. Many call it prayer. Yet they never think of prayer as a series of words or incantations. Their prayer is an unspoken feeling of unity with higher power, inner wisdom and God. It can feel like a good vibration.
  • Laughter and fun help create the positive energy.

HEALING HAPPENS INSIDE FIRST. Experienced doctors are the first to agree that healing begins with positive expectation of success. While medicine may assist healing, it is the body that heals itself. Maintaining a positive energy can be the most important aspect to health.

WHEN YOU ARE CLOSE TO SOMEONE WHO NEEDS HEALING it is important that you participate in creating a healing environment. Your thoughts, attitudes, words and feelings have an impact. Envision your friend as already healed. Imagine the energy and light of love and healing surrounding him. Feel the vibration of healing move through you and into her. The more you use your imagination to activate all of your senses, the more powerful this can be. A nice side effect is that it can create healing within you at the same time.

You might consider:

  • Sharing especially tasty meals (eliminate sugar, sodas, fatty foods and harmful substances) Have fun finding the biggest strawberry or taking time to marinate a special filet.
  • Go outside and spend time in nature. No matter where you live, you can share beauty and lessons from nature. Breathe deeply and appreciate the life force flowing through you.
  • Laugh lots. Think about fun times you have spent together. Watch funny movies. Notice how ridiculous it is when people are serious about everything.
  • Avoid the sympathy cards and any focus on the problem. Instead be part of the solution, which is life giving.

BE WILLING TO LISTEN to whatever your friend is feeling in the moment. If times of anger or sadness come up, allow them to express themselves and encourage them to fully move the energy through them. Suppressed emotion is inauthentic. Let them know they don’t need to put on a happy face because you can’t stand the truth. Be real. If your friend is angry, you might suggest that you both holler and howl like wolves. Be angry with them until it is so ridiculous that you can laugh about it.

A general but basic truth is that you can help your friend keep their energy moving. Keep doing new things, living fully and supporting the vision of their full health and vitality.

YOU DO MAKE A DIFFERENCE. Those who have friends and community heal much faster than those who isolate themselves. Call, visit, and be there for those you care about. Your attitude and support is vital. Keep up the good vibration!

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The Truth About Your To-Do List

Do you feel guilty as you drown in the daily details? Too much to do. Too many people wanting your time and energy. Being pulled in multiple directions. And wondering if there will ever be time to do what you want. Time management? It seems an impossible goal.

You try to set priorities, but they never seem to stick. Your to-do list grows by the day, but so few things ever get crossed off. Books go unread. Movies remain unwatched. Your computer’s in box overflows with unread email. And those friends you keep wanting to reconnect with? Forget about it.

You feel overwhelmed. You want to change. But where do you start?

I have news for you. No matter what you do, you will always have more choices about where to put your time and focus than you have time available. You will NEVER complete your to-do list.

Think about that. You will never be DONE! Now ask yourself one simple question – and realize that the answer to this question will make all the difference in your life.

How does it make you feel to know you will never finish all the things on your list?

You could feel a variety of ways: Confused, depressed, and hopeless… or free, elated and renewed. If you don’t like how you feel, are you willing to explore further?

When I realized that I would NEVER complete my to-do list, I felt confused. I have been on this earth for quite a few years. I have definitely been here long enough to work out the issue of TIME – how to manage it, prioritize it, make it work for me. How is it possible that I can’t manage to complete my tasks and make my life simple?

Then I had a blinding flash of the obvious. Who put the items on the list? I did. Who made them important? I did. Are there other things NOT on my list? Of course. So why do I put more things on the list than I can do?

As I sat with that question, an image came to my mind: a beautiful “All You Can Eat” banquet filled with sumptuous treats. Crisp and creative salads, roast beef, salmon, sushi, lamb kabobs, asparagus, French green beans, sweet potatoes, chocolate mousse, berry tarts, lemon meringue pie, butterscotch pudding. And of course, champagne and fine wines. Most anything I can think of is on the buffet, just waiting for me to choose.

Clearly, I cannot eat it all. Even an attempt to taste everything would leave me feeling bloated and not enjoying the experience. Just finding a place to start would overwhelm me. I have a choice. Do I walk outside and look for a hot dog stand instead? Do I insist that someone remove all but a few choices in the banquet?

My deepest desire is to taste and enjoy it all, yet I will be miserable if I try this route. Then the answer became clear. I could feel it in my very soul and celebrate.

Your life is about enjoying the banquet. The abundance of spirit brings you more variety than you can ever taste so you can experience free will. Even bitter choices bring you new experiences. And you may then long for the one thing not on the table: simplicity.

It’s all up to you, babe! You get to find the simplicity within yourself. The world is abundant and full of choice. Will you stop for one moment to enjoy the vast abundance that creates your busy-ness? If you can stop now, you may find yourself smiling and giggling as I did. You are getting it! Be grateful. Simplicity isn’t out there, isn’t it?

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When Is That New Business Idea a Good One?

strange idea

If you are a creative entrepreneur, you probably uncover new ideas on a regular basis.  i keep a notebook of good ideas which pop into my head.  My challenge is to sort the inspiration from the clutter.  My greatest marketing and product ideas often come in a flash.  My ezine is receiving raves and is becoming a book.  On the other hand, some pesky thoughts launch me into a mindless web-surfing episode.   Can you relate?  (I hope I’m not the only one bothered by distraction!)

So how do you decide what is valuable?  Ask yourself a few simple questions.

Does this idea move my business forward now? Does your newest brainstorm simplify what you are already doing?  Does it fit into the current model?  Will it leverage your current efforts?  Or will it slow you down?  Sometimes you have a great idea but it is not the right time for it.  I recommend getting an “Idea Book”  and jotting down every brainstorm.  Once you write it down, you know that it will be available for you later, so you can easily return to what is important now.   The side benefit is that you have a list of great ideas to tap on those days when you are feeling dull an uncreative.

What bucket does this fall in? I ask myself this question often.  A bucket is a category.  I have a leads bucket, a niche bucket, an online marketing bucket and a product bucket.  I also have a bucket for productivity ideas, although my productivity ideas are usually the first to be put into action.   By grouping ideas, it is easier to sort them by relevance.

What does my team think? Once I categorize my ideas, I take time to review them with my team. Every business needs a team.  If you are a solo-preneur then find a coach or mastermind to keep you from drowning yourself in your own creativity or failing to see the forest for the trees.  It is a good practice to gather ideas, group them, allow them to age and review them with others.

Want to be consistently brilliant?  Here is the simple formula.

  1. Brand your company and products! Branding is a process of creating clarity for your business.  It sends a clear message about your value. You exist to serve.  When you provide more service that falls within your core brand, you make it easy for people to accept.
  2. Know your target market and USP.
  3. Plan your work and work your plan.
  4. Delegate everything except your special brilliance.

Finally, enjoy life and keep it simple!

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Find the Gold in Gab – Business Communications that Count

People do business with people they like.  Yet business is more than a popularity contest.  It is an opportunity to create human connection that generates creativity and growth.  Here are some simple basics!

1. Listen to other people. The most successful people let others talk more than they do.

- Use questions to expand the conversation beyond small talk.

- Ask probing questions to elicit a person’s dreams and passions.

- Uncover ways that you can contribute to others [...]

Are You Following the Winds of Fortune?

Last Sunday I stood on a bluff in Santa Monica overlooking the ocean.  A dozen sailboats spread across the horizon, enjoying a beautiful Southern California day.

Although it’s been years since I sailed, it’s something you don’t forget.  Each sailing trip is unique.  One time I floated along, almost dozing, as the boat lapped through the water.  Another trip, I negotiated 20 foot waves for hours to keep the boat upright.  Even when you check [...]

Are You Too Smart For Your Business Success?

Is business success a learnable skill?  Do you know how to grow you small business into a more profitable larger business?  How do you know?  Have you done it before?

The truth is that YOU can follow the lead of others and create a very successful business.  It is also true that YOU are the biggest obstacle to your business success.  How is that possible?

If you want to cease being a roadblock and begin being a [...]

What Are You Waiting For?

Where did we learn that there was reward in waiting? Was it standing in line in school years ago? Or do we learn sitting in traffic jams that we should slow down? Is this scenario familiar?

You have a list of things to do. On this list are important tasks that move your business forward. There may be some things that bring you greater health or develop important relationships. You put this list of priorities in [...]

Your Personal Key to Business Success

How are things going for you? Do you want to get more of what you are already experiencing? Or do you want to improve? The definition of insanity is to keep doing the same thing and expecting a different result.

While blaming takes away your power, justifying your position blinds you to possibilities. Your desire to be “right” in your choice eliminates other alternatives and wastes your time.

When I was learning to dance, my teacher would [...]

When Things Suck, Who’s To Blame?

Last year we blamed the economy. What will we blame in 2010? Have you ever considered how blame could be impacting your success?

Finding someone or something to blame gets you off the hook when things don’t turn out your way. Finding blame is common and seems to be a natural human tendency.

Although I come from a large family of six children, I was on only child until 5. When I was four years old, I [...]

Simple Communication Tips That Build Business

Whether you are in an office wearing a suit or at home in jeans and a sweatshirt, your communication needs to be polished to consistently close business.  Here are some successful business communication basics.

Studies show that words only convey 7% of meaning. Tonality provides 38% of our understanding and body language. 55%. Keep this in mind when writing e-mail.

Be short and factual in your communication. People are busy and long e-mails are less likely to [...]

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