Pesky Peeps

"Discover the Secrets to Understanding Others"

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How my sister changed our family in three words

Can you smell the turkey baking? Or are you driving to friends and relatives for your feast? Perhaps you are escaping to a movie? This is the time that you come together with the special people in your life. Spending time with friends and family is an opportunity to appreciate your roots and to expand the possibilities.

What could make your family experience more fulfilling? My own family was lively. I am the eldest of 6 children. And we have always cared about each other, but we didn’t always express it in words. I never remember hearing the words “I love you” when I was growing up.

My youngest sister changed all of that about 14 years ago. She began to end her phone calls to our parents and siblings with the words, “I love you”. The first time she said this, I was speechless. I put down the phone and tears came to my eyes. I realized how much I had longed to hear those words from my family. The next time we spoke, I ended the call with “I love you.”

Soon it was a family practice. I am grateful to Cynthia for opening our hearts. My father passed in 2001 and my mother this year. We all told our parents that we loved them on a regular basis. And in the midst of dealing with the family trust, my siblings and I often say “I love you.” We don’t always agree on how to do everything. Yet we know that we have each other’s backs. We are family.

What can you do to impact your family? What traditions and habits support good relationships? Are there ways in which you are stuck in old patterns which feel uncomfortable? Each family is different, so you are the best judge of what will make a positive shift.

Choose one action that can bring more love to your family. You might give hugs instead of handshakes. Or special compliments which acknowledge each person. You might listen more carefully. You might bring a song or music. Or simply say “I love you”, especially if you aren’t in the habit.

Making changes, even for the better, isn’t always easy. Did you have the courage to take action? Did you prepare the way for action in the future? Or was it too daunting to risk disapproval? Can you approve of yourself regardless of the outcome?

Imagine festive gatherings with your family and friends that fill you with inspiration and a feeling of deep connection. Take that vision and ask your higher self for one simple thing that you can do to bring it to fruition. Then DO IT. Just one simple thing. Isn’t that easy?

How to Help a Friend Heal

When it comes to healing, science and spiritual belief agree. What you believe and how you view your place in this world impact your health in both positive and negative ways. You have a big role in healing yourself and in supporting your friends or family with serious illness. Here are some ideas to shift you out of ”victim mode” so you can participate fully in the healing process.

Succumbing to victim mode robs you of personal value in two ways:

You may not recognize the underlying lesson, or you may overlook the possibility that this event serves a greater purpose in your life.
You give up your immense personal power to heal yourself. You rely upon pills, surgeries and the opinions of doctors.

A MORE POWERFUL WAY TO RESPOND is to connect with your inner healing power. This power comes from the personal belief that you are healing even now. Rather than being a victim of circumstance, you accept the role of co-creator. You recognize that your beliefs, feelings and responses have a profound impact upon your health.

Every healing is individual, but there are common elements:

The patient has a profound belief that they are already healed. This goes beyond words. It is a feeling, visualization, full body awareness that everything is already perfect.
Gratitude is central to their thoughts. Simple appreciation for beauty, people, nature and all of life expands their thoughts far beyond themselves.
They experience connection to a higher power that works within them. Many call it prayer. Yet they never think of prayer as a series of words or incantations. Their prayer is an unspoken feeling of unity with higher power, inner wisdom and God. It can feel like a good vibration.
Laughter and fun help create the positive energy.

HEALING HAPPENS INSIDE FIRST. Experienced doctors are the first to agree that healing begins with positive expectation of success. While medicine may assist healing, it is the body that heals itself. Maintaining a positive energy can be the most important aspect to health.

WHEN YOU ARE CLOSE TO SOMEONE WHO NEEDS HEALING it is important that you participate in creating a healing environment. Your thoughts, attitudes, words and feelings have an impact. Envision your friend as already healed. Imagine the energy and light of love and healing surrounding him. Feel the vibration of healing move through you and into her. The more you use your imagination to activate all of your senses, the more powerful this can be. A nice side effect is that it can create healing within you at the same time.

You might consider:

Sharing especially tasty meals (eliminate sugar, sodas, fatty foods and harmful substances) Have fun finding the biggest strawberry or taking time to marinate a special filet.
Go outside and spend time in nature. No matter where you live, you can share beauty and lessons from nature. Breathe deeply and appreciate the life force flowing through you.
Laugh lots. Think about fun times you have spent together. Watch funny movies. Notice how ridiculous it is when people are serious about everything.
Avoid the sympathy cards and any focus on the problem. Instead be part of the solution, which is life giving.

BE WILLING TO LISTEN to whatever your friend is feeling in the moment. If times of anger or sadness come up, allow them to express themselves and encourage them to fully move the energy through them. Suppressed emotion is inauthentic. Let them know they don’t need to put on a happy face because you can’t stand the truth. Be real. If your friend is angry, you might suggest that you both holler and howl like wolves. Be angry with them until it is so ridiculous that you can laugh about it.

A general but basic truth is that you can help your friend keep their energy moving. Keep doing new things, living fully and supporting the vision of their full health and vitality.

YOU DO MAKE A DIFFERENCE. Those who have friends and community heal much faster than those who isolate themselves. Call, visit, and be there for those you care about. Your attitude and support is vital. Keep up the good vibration!

The Truth About Your To-Do List

Do you feel guilty as you drown in the daily details? Too much to do. Too many people wanting your time and energy. Being pulled in multiple directions. And wondering if there will ever be time to do what you want. Time management? It seems an impossible goal.

You try to set priorities, but they never seem to stick. Your to-do list grows by the day, but so few things ever get crossed off. Books go unread. Movies remain unwatched. Your computer’s in box overflows with unread email. And those friends you keep wanting to reconnect with? Forget about it.

You feel overwhelmed. You want to change. But where do you start?

I have news for you. No matter what you do, you will always have more choices about where to put your time and focus than you have time available. You will NEVER complete your to-do list.

Think about that. You will never be DONE! Now ask yourself one simple question – and realize that the answer to this question will make all the difference in your life.

How does it make you feel to know you will never finish all the things on your list?

You could feel a variety of ways: Confused, depressed, and hopeless… or free, elated and renewed. If you don’t like how you feel, are you willing to explore further?

When I realized that I would NEVER complete my to-do list, I felt confused. I have been on this earth for quite a few years. I have definitely been here long enough to work out the issue of TIME – how to manage it, prioritize it, make it work for me. How is it possible that I can’t manage to complete my tasks and make my life simple?

Then I had a blinding flash of the obvious. Who put the items on the list? I did. Who made them important? I did. Are there other things NOT on my list? Of course. So why do I put more things on the list than I can do?

As I sat with that question, an image came to my mind: a beautiful “All You Can Eat” banquet filled with sumptuous treats. Crisp and creative salads, roast beef, salmon, sushi, lamb kabobs, asparagus, French green beans, sweet potatoes, chocolate mousse, berry tarts, lemon meringue pie, butterscotch pudding. And of course, champagne and fine wines. Most anything I can think of is on the buffet, just waiting for me to choose.

Clearly, I cannot eat it all. Even an attempt to taste everything would leave me feeling bloated and not enjoying the experience. Just finding a place to start would overwhelm me. I have a choice. Do I walk outside and look for a hot dog stand instead? Do I insist that someone remove all but a few choices in the banquet?

My deepest desire is to taste and enjoy it all, yet I will be miserable if I try this route. Then the answer became clear. I could feel it in my very soul and celebrate.

Your life is about enjoying the banquet. The abundance of spirit brings you more variety than you can ever taste so you can experience free will. Even bitter choices bring you new experiences. And you may then long for the one thing not on the table: simplicity.

It’s all up to you, babe! You get to find the simplicity within yourself. The world is abundant and full of choice. Will you stop for one moment to enjoy the vast abundance that creates your busy-ness? If you can stop now, you may find yourself smiling and giggling as I did. You are getting it! Be grateful. Simplicity isn’t out there, isn’t it?

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What Are You Waiting For?

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